


"Batteries"

by Amoridere



Series: Stand Alones [9]
Category: Kill la Kill
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Babies, Bittersweet, Chronic Illness, Eventual Happy Ending, Family Drama, Family Issues, Jerkass Realization, Low Self Esteem, Noodle Incident Kinda, Original Child Characters, Orphans, Promiscuity, Prostitution, Reconciliation, Stripper, Unplanned Pregnancy, some slut-shaming, written on a whim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-09-24 02:43:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 9,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9696197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amoridere/pseuds/Amoridere
Summary: Satsuki and Ryuuko, sometime ago, had a fight over the former hiding batteries but, minor or naw, the fight had major consequences





	1. Post the Batteries Incident

It's been awhile since I went home, actually, hell no, scratch that. It's been awhile since I _left_ home. Sats and me had a fight and I hadn't seen her since. We had a fight over batteries. It sounds stupid as hell and, thinking back on it, it was stupid as hell but it was the match to a freighter full of gasoline, which is to say, it was the last damn straw and, after that, I had enough of her bullshit, so I told her, "Bitch, fuck off!!" and packed up as much as my shit as I wanted. I left and I ain't never looked back.

That was I think about two and a half years ago. Since then, I hit rock fuckin' bottom but I have no intentions on ever going home. I'm famous, now, but it's not much of in a good way, either way it puts food on the table. Some of 'em couldn't make it rain but they damn well made it drizzle. She came suddenly and, at first, I didn't know I was gonna have her but then she came, in the ladies' room at the shitass bar down from the hotel where like three dudes laid me up and put me down. I was bleeding a lot and she came early or, rather, she came small. She was really sick and had to stay at the hospital.

I couldn't take her home, so, when I got better, I left without her. I suppose people don't want to me have nothin', as I couldn't get her back, afterwards, when they told me she'd be well enough. I don't know how I felt about that but I guess some things don't change, as I was back to getting laid up and being put down. I suppose I should have taken precautions, planned ahead, because, as I can tell, here I am again.

I'm gonna have another one, however, this one feels and awful lot like two. I tried getting "honest" work but laundromats suck at payin' and, with the fact that I'm getting bigger, hooking and stripping is out. At least, my landlady and her husband likes me, then again, I made their marriage happier for the both of them. Not real sure how but, then again, I slept with her husband and I danced with her, said dance having me wearing only a pair of panties ( _HER_ insistence, not mine).

Since I got the place, I got a phone call from Mako. We talked awhile but I didn't tell her much, except that I was alright and staying in a shitass part of Tokyo, along with that I was expecting something nice, wonderful, and will love me. Okay, I probably shouldn't have told her that bit but it’s not like she knew what it was I talking about.


	2. Again

"That's what she said?"  Houka asked me, to which I told him told him, like, three times. The other ones and him looked at me funny and I asked them why, to which Uzu said, "Well, um, do you know what she meant by 'expecting something nice, wonderful, and will love me'?" I told him that it meant she was getting a puppy but Nonon said, "No, Underachiever, it doesn't mean that."

I asked her why, saying that puppies are "nice, wonderful, and will love her" but Nonon wasn't have none of that, saying, "Yes, of course a dog is nice, wonderful, and will love her but what else is nice, wonderful, and will love her?" I told her a lot of things but she shook her head and said, "Not even close."

"Well, what'd you mean?"

"Let me ask you something, did she say else related to that the last time you talked to her?"

"She said how they didn't let her keep the last wonderful thing she had but she muttered that one."

"Uh-huh, well, there's your answer."

"What it is?"

She groaned and told Gamagoori to tell me. He sat me down, took a deep breath, and said, "When Miss Matoi said what she said, well, to put it delicately that 'nice, wonderful, and will love her something' she was referring to was a baby, in which case, she had told you she was pregnant." I was confused and told him that couldn't be but he was insistent, saying, "Yes, yes, it's hard to believe but, believe me, she's pregnant and, if anything, considering what we know already, she's pregnant _again_."

"Again?"

"Yes, because the hospital she went to has record of her giving birth, obviously, as Lady Satsuki, while trying to look for her, first went to the hospital, whereupon the staff congratulated her on her niece. To be honest, I thought she told you."

I asked if that was a good thing, to which Nonon, as nice a way she could be, "Well, that depends, to _Mattam_ Matoi, being pregnant and having another baby is a good thing, when, to be honest, considering her current living situation and the fact that she already had a baby that she isn't any position to care for, it's not a good thing and she doesn't really know or, for that matter, grasp that. The hospital wouldn't let have the first one, so, odds are, she won't be allowed to keep this one, likewise, she doesn't really have the means to raise this one properly. It's really complicated."

  Iori shrugged, rolled his eyes, and said, "Lady Satsuki has suffered enough, surely, we have to find her sister and, for the good of her, Matoi, and her unborn child, bring her home."


	3. Damn.

I suppose I made it a mistake to yell at folks, especially the drunk bastard who called me a "hoe". He was drunk, as I said, but he was mad that I wasn't offering him a “date”. Frankly, I would have given him something, if he wasn’t drunk, if I felt like it, wasn’t pregnant, or, for that matter, if I needed the dough really bad. Yes, I need money, however, I don’t need it that bad.

   In any case, my yelling got me some attention, as Mako showed up with some of Satsuki’s flunkies with Monkeyboy saying, "We found her." I tried to be nice, honest, but I told her I was fine and that I'd be fine, to which she said, "Not really." She asked if they could come in but I told her outside is nicer, to which she asked for some chairs. I was damned, as I didn't have any chairs, thus I had to let them in. I did, obviously, but I made damn sure they knew I didn't have anything to offer them. They were fine with Mako saying that they just wanted to talk.

        She asked me if I was okay again, to which I told her that I was but then she asked me how far along I was and, honestly, I thought I would lose it. "Why...?" I asked her, to which she said, "Oh, well, we just want to know."  Yup, there was no way to for me to get out of this one but it’s not like I could tell her how far along I was, as I didn't really know. I was pretty big by that point, then again, I also got a little fat, so I could look bigger than I what might actually be. I didn't want to answer her but I did with a plain, "I don't know."

"When was the last time you saw a doctor?"

"Don't know. Why?"

"Because it’s kind of important."

"Why?"

        She wouldn't shut up and told me a bunch of things but one thing that really struck a nerve was that she mentioned the one I had first, more specifically, a reason as to probably why they wouldn't let me have her, the fact that I didn't see a doctor probably being a reason as to why things turned out the way they did. I told her I didn't want to talk about that and then she just had to ask me about Sats, rather, I spoke to her, to which I said, "You answered your own question."

"Okay but I think she should know about you."

"Why?"

"Because, she's your sister and the fact that she misses you."

"And....?"

"Well, she's been looking for you and is still waiting for you to call her."

"Okay, well, she'll be fine."

"No, Ryuuko-chan, she won't be, not until she knows you’re okay and, besides, it wouldn’t kill you to see her."

"No, maybe not but I burned that bridge a long time ago."

"Well, perhaps, but we know she could really help you."

        We were back and forth, while Pink Midget looked sort of mad, almost as if she had something to say. She did, as typical, and she said, "Alright, here's how this is gonna work, either you go see Satsuki-chan or we tell the cops on you for hooking and swinging." 

I should have knifed her bitch-ass. I'd be damned if someone called the cops on me, especially now because I'm pregnant and then I'll never get to have anything. I only managed to say, "You dirty bitch!" before Uzu said, "Naw, we're not gonna do that."

"Yes, we are."

"Well, you're gonna do that, the rest of us ain't."

"Oh, yes, _we_ are."

"Naw, you're gonna do that and, if Lady Satsuki finds out what you said and or if you ratted Matoi out to the cops, she's never gonna forgive you."

        Rolling her eyes, she told me she was sorry for saying she was gonna call the cops but told me to fuck off. Gamagoori looked her like she put a bug in his food and, with that sour ass look, he said, "We're supposed to be here to help Matoi _and_ Lady Satsuki. Matoi is, without a doubt, in dire straits and, honestly, so is Lady Satsuki, considering her health has not been its best and, a few weeks ago, she was in the hospital. Now, do you honestly think that threatening to contact the authorities about Matoi’s 'services' or telling her to screw off is helping them?"

        He went on something of a tirade and then they got to going back and forth. If anyone were to ask me, I would say Sats was trying to guilt trip with her being sick and all into coming back home, after all, she never really did get sick. A cold probably but not sick to where she might have to stay in hospitals and shit so, as far as that went, Sats, by that notion, may as well have been a drama queen and a hypochondriac, as there was no way in hell that she was sick enough to get intensive care. Having a baby in a bathroom and losing shit ton of blood put me in the hospital, so I know damn well that Sats could _never_ be that bad to get put in the hospital.

        I did say what I thought to which the green-haired bastard said, "Uh, since when was Sats ever known to be drama queen or, for that matter, known to make a mountain out of molehill over some ol' bullshit? She's not faking it and, while she was messing around with you before, she would never guilt trip you into coming home that way. She's been really sick and she did get into the ICU because of pneumonia. We thought she wasn't going to make it and, man, did that pneumonia fuck her up something bad."

 


	4. Regrets

I don't know what my sister would have called her, this baby, and the hospital didn't say if my sister had named her or not. She didn't have the easiest start, no, but she's beaten the odds despite how small she was. The hospital told me that she tried to get her back but they wouldn't let her have her, however, they let me have her. I have named her "Hoshi" because of the star-like marking on her forehead.

I may as well have kept her in my pocket because we went practically anywhere together. I promised myself that I wouldn't fail with caring for her. Pneumonia did much to weaken me but I refuse to let the damage from that hinder my caring for her. It's hard, certainly, but, with us minus her mother and myself being quite young, we have to make do. As I think about her, I wonder how her mother is faring and what our parents would think. I can't say they'd be proud but I promised them, our mother especially, that I'd take care of her.

Perhaps, I did go a bit too far with the batteries, regardless, I couldn't foresee a tantrum, an argument, and her leaving without very few means to contact her. Honestly, I can never figure out how she managed to get like this, which is to say, what made her so angry but I do remember her happy once.  It was a long time ago and, now, it seems, pride does naught to mend broken hearts.

  In her case, the memory of her as a happy girl is mostly a haze and, as I can tell, with pride comes stubbornness, said pride and its resulting stubbornness leading her to resort to promiscuity to provide for herself or so I think that'd be the case, then again, she did become pregnant, no one can say who the father is, and, regardless, we are absent her, certainly. Argument, pride, or not, I want very much to make amends, something to calm the raging waters between us.


	5. The Answer is Still "No"

We talked for a while but I made it clear that I had no intentions on going back home. Of course, Mako asked, "Would it kill you to see your sister?" I told her that it might but, damn, did one of them other ones have a comeback, as Dirty Bitch said, "Yeah, well, if something happens to _you_ , it will kill **_her_**! So, if you fucked around and we had to give her bad news, she'd probably die right on the fucking spot."

Monkeyboy looked at her all kinds of weird and told her that she was wrong for that, saying, "Aw, see, man, you were wrong for saying that." They went back and forth until Uzu got her in the eye, knocking her out cold. Once again, Big Dude apologized to me but he did say, "I don't know how she'd take any bad news about you but I can tell you that it wouldn't do her justice if something terrible did happen to you and she found out. She misses you, obviously, and never at all fails to ask if any of us seen or heard from you since you left. "

Mako and Sats' flunkies (except Dirty Bitch, as she was still knocked out cold) asked that I'd consider on seeing Sats, along with saying that they would be there to help with anything we needed. I told them I'd be fine and they left. It was great for about a few weeks, as I got a small raise and some other stuff.

 

        They sure as hell didn't bother me again for awhile


	6. Ruminations

I asked if we should go see her, Ryuuko-chan, but Iori said, "Well, I guess we're just going to have to let it run its course and let Ryuuko figure things out for herself, anywho, how far along is she in her pregnancy?" I told him I didn't really know but gave an estimate. He thought about it and told me that she might not have too much time left before delivery, in which case, then, she'd come to see realize how silly their fight was.

Nonon rolled her eyes and said, "Matoi ain't known for nothin' except for being stubborn and, in the asscracks of Tokyo, a hoe." She didn't say much else, just smirked. Uzu looked at her and said, "Wow, well, Matoi was right about you being a dirty bitch." They had something of an argument before he finished it with punching her square in the mouth, saying, "Yeah, Matoi may have been screwing around and, yeah, she's stubborn but, damn, can't you be a little less, well, judgmental? Her and Sats have always been on the rocks, especially since their parents died when they were kids and they had to live with the Mankanshokus."

I never did think of that but I do remember that they lost their parents when they were young.  Their dad died in a fire trying to save Ryuuko when she was two and their mom got sick when they were eight and twelve. She didn't get better and, eventually, she was in the hospital. She didn't want to tell them but she got too far gone and asked Satsuki to take care of her sister. After that, it seemed, they just drifted apart.

When Sats moved out, she took Ryuuko with her and then shit started hitting the fan. Sats could be an ass-clown but I guess that one time was just too much, either way, too much or not, she's regretted it since but, I guess, Ryuuko-chan probably just can't really see that.


	7. Epiphany

Surprises can be funny. I got a surprise when I was messing around in my stuff. I found a little photo album. Mostly pictures of Mom, Dad, Mako, and Sats, until I came across a beauty. She was pretty, smiling, and looking as if she had everything in the world. I didn't recall who she was and she didn't seem like anyone I knew. I was enthralled with her and I looked at her long and hard before memories came back.

That beauty in the photograph I was staring at wasn't anyone else but... ** _me_**!!

  The shock of it all was enough to do some damage as I found myself in pain, wet, and bleeding. I could barely walk, let alone stand. Bleeding and in pain, I dragged myself around until I came to my phone after what seemed like forever. More memories started coming back and it seems, as I had my shaking fingers on the buttons. I didn't think much about whose number I dialed but it became readily obvious that I didn't dial "119". 

Without paying any attention, I dialed the first number that showed on the screen. It was _hers_ , that one person I called "Bitch”, called her that like it was her name. She wasn't "Bitch" anymore and, in all the time I had been gone, I had almost killed her. I had been so mean to her and, here I was, in pain, bleeding, and crying, barely able to even stand, needing her. I was afraid she wouldn't even answer and seemed like two years that it was ringing.

She answered after a few rings. It was late, obviously, and my calling her had just woke her up. I expected her to cuss at me, call me a "hoe" or a "bitch", to be mean to me like I did her, and hang up but that was what she didn't do. She simply said, "Hello" and asked if I was okay. I told her I needed her and what my address was.

 It seemed she wasted no time in getting here, considering that she went as far as kick that door in and she kicked it right off its hinges. I didn't see her much but I felt her hand pet my hair and being wrapped in her arms as I shook and bled. I couldn't make out too much of what she was saying but it didn't matter because having her there made everything alright.

      I don't remember much else, just bright and flashing lights before I woke up in a hospital.

I was in a daze and, duh, I still felt achy I couldn't feel my babies and, when I found I couldn't, I almost screamed but then I felt someone holding my hand. She never left my side and, again, she was still there. My eyes started to focus and they found her, sitting in a wheelchair, asleep. Apparently, she didn't bother to put on regular clothes, as she was wearing a light blue nightgown and a white bathrobe with one blue slipper (she lost the other one, probably kicking the door open), which, to be honest, was weird because she's usually so straight laced and wouldn't even dream of going anywhere in her pajamas but, naw, "Straight-laced" Sats was sitting in pajamas. Funny, she used to always get on me about how I was dressed.

    She didn’t stay asleep, as she woke up, coughing and rasping. She didn't let go of my hand and used her other one to reach into her bathrobe pocket for something, said something being an inhaler. Her taking it seemed to help her some but it didn't seem to do too much. Seeing her take that inhaler made her look so fragile. I would guess that, between her getting there, getting me an ambulance, and now, she had a really bad asthma attack but didn't care enough to take her inhaler before.

        I had almost killed her and here she was with me, above all else. 


	8. Distress

Sats left me with Hoshi. She told me she had an emergency and that she had to go right away, so I got up out of bed and went to her house. She didn't say what kind of emergency but she left as soon as I came. I asked if she'd call me to tell if everything was okay but I didn't get an answer. Whatever she had to rush to must have been really important and I hadn’t heard from her. 

I waited for her to call but the phone didn't ring. It was some hours before I called whatever number I could get my hand on. I called Ryuuko-chan's number but I got nothing and it went to right to, so I called Sats' cell phone but, like Ryuuko's, she didn't answer hers, actually, hers rang a few times, so, in which case, Ryuuko's didn't have any battery left and Sats did. While holding the baby, I tried to get a hold of everyone else while asking if either of two were okay.

Nonon told me she hadn't heard from Sats nor Ryuuko, while Gamagoori asked if she was with me. Houka didn't answer, then again, odds are, he wasn't awake, while Uzu said he'd be right over. He came over and asked what happened, to which I told him. He glanced up at the ceiling, counting at the flowers, before he said, "I think I might know where they are." Not long after that, we went to the hospital.

A nurse told us we couldn't see them but did say that they're both near critical and critical. The nurse then told us that Ryuuko's had her babies and that she had them in the ambulance, while unconscious, and that she was between eight and nine months along, however, the reason she was in critical was because of complications

Since Sats and Ryuuko hadn't really spoke in like two years, we asked as to why they'd be here at the same time, to which she said, "Miss Kiryuuin had called for an ambulance, while her sister was in labor." It hit me like a car, as the urgent matter that Sats hurried off to was her sister in distress.


	9. She never gave up.

They brought Sats back and she was right where she started, holding my hand. They wheeled that bed close enough and I guess it was at her insistence. Sats, as we all know, can be _really_ persistent. She was barely awake but she was awake enough to hold my hand, tubes in and stuck to her be damned.

I had so much to say to her but, most of all, I just wanted her to know I was sorry. I was sorry for many things but, mostly, I was sorry for almost killing her. She took her inhaler too late and a nurse saw that. They took her away and she was gone awhile before now. As she held my hand, I wondered as to how I could almost kill someone and still have her come back. While I wondered that, I was stuck with a lot of “If onlys” and there was too damn many of them but, mostly, I wondered if none of this wouldn’t have happened if I had come home after I had the first one, if I just opted to see her.

Without really considering anything besides what I was thinking, I squeezed her hand and I told her I was sorry. My tears were rivers and I couldn't even list how many things I was sorry for but I do know was that all I could do was cry and say I was sorry. By now, she was fully awake and, as I would guess, she got tired of sitting in her bed, so she tried to climb into my bed. She probably got a bruise on her side but she was really close to me, close enough that she squeezed herself next to me. I was in her arms and she wouldn't let go, not that I wanted her to.

As she held me, I just couldn't talk anymore, so I just cried. She didn't say much, just that she missed me, that my baby was fine, and that the babies I just had not that long ago were fine, even though I was in terrible shape. The doctors told her that I'd be okay but I had complications that reared their ugly head the moment my babies were out. She told me we'd get to see them but, right now, I had to be kept from them for a while, as I wasn't well enough.  She then told me about how she has always been worried about me and really missed me since I had left, that she still waited, waited for me to call her.

 

        She never gave up.


	10. Hypocrite

The others came not too long after Uzu called them. We told them that Ryuuko had her babies but she had complications and is in intensive care, while Satsuki had an asthma attack and was with her. Nonon rolled her eyes and said, "So let me guess, the Hoe called Satsuki-chan, not surprised."  At first, a little before this,  Hoshi was crying but she stopped, shot an evil eye, pointed to Nonon, and made a noise, to which Uzu said, "Wow, even the baby thinks you're a dirty bitch."

She had something of a rant, citing how Ryuuko said she wouldn't even visit Satsuki and hasn't spoken to her in a, as she put it, "long ass time", along with that she should have brought herself to the hospital instead of calling the sister to whom she caused a great deal of stress and heartache with her absence and anger.

That rant lasted about five minutes before Iori said, "Yes, Ryuuko did what she did but aren't you being a tad judgmental? Sometimes, and I'm pretty sure Satsuki would agree, it takes so much for a person to realize how wrong they were and, if anything, that realization couldn't have come at a better time, as, if she hadn't have called Satsuki, she could have very well died of complications. However, I don't think she would have known that, so, obviously, she was afraid and Satsuki was the only one to whom she could think to call. In the end, Sats was only one to whom she felt could make everything better."

He went to say how Satsuki had already forgave her for leaving and, regardless, if Ryuuko was a hooker and had stripped, she just wanted to make amends.  He also did remind her that Satsuki once worked in a red light district, saying, "While she didn't sleep around or take off her clothes for money, she did work in one and she did it to provide for her sister, to get themselves to a higher quality of living, regardless if she hated it or if, at one point, her life was threatened. If people knew, they'd look down their noses just like you're doing with Ryuuko. Ryuuko, while she made mistakes, did what she did to provide for herself. If you'd landed in her place, you would have no room to talk and you'd see things from her view."

 

        Nonon had nothing to say after that.


	11. In my arms

I lost track of how long she had been crying but she stopped, eventually, and just clung to me. The "batteries incident" had become a distant hazy memory, something unimportant compared to now. I had my sister, to whom I hadn't seen in about two and a half years, back with me. It didn't matter what happened in those two in a half years ago but it did matter as to how we could start anew.

Even as she slept, she clung to me, not wanting me to leave. She probably wouldn't admit it and neither did she need to but it was clear that she's missed me, too. I had always anticipated her to call but I didn't think, for a moment, that her phone call would come when she was in pain. It hurt seeing her in that much pain and to find her bleeding, regardless, I don't think I could have come at a better time. According the OBGYNs and a midwife, she could have very well died had I not have got there, especially going by what they had to do to save her.

  Her twins are beautiful and, according to the nurses, they are sleeping soundly. I was told, as they wheeled her away, earlier, that despite Ryuuko's condition and complications, her babies were healthy. As I held her and thought about them, I wonder as to what she wanted to call them. Surely, they couldn't go without names but I find it best that their mother designate names for them.

 

        Perhaps, she’d know what to call them when she sees them.


	12. "Esther?"

Nonon stayed quiet, while we waited to see them or for any other things the doctors could say. Hoshi, on the other hand, didn't like waiting and I guess she decided to see whatever was whatever for herself. The moment I sat her down, she hurried off, through a set of doors, saying her version of "Auntie". Of course, I got to running out after her, damn the rules.

 Stubby legs or not, she could run and she ran fast, right through the big doors, leading to the rest of the hospital. I knew we were most likely gonna get thrown out but I hadn't a choice but to go after her. The others with a zombified Nonon came after me. It seemed Hoshi knew where she was going and she was determined to get there.

  We followed her until she ran into the intensive care unit and into a room.  To our surprise, it turned out she really did know where she was going, as she ran into the room where Sats and Ryuuko was.

 As we watched, she hurried over to the bed where both of them was. Not gonna lie, Ryuuko looked kinda beat up and she had more than a few tubes, as Sats had one tube and breathing tubes in her nose. They were holding onto each other for dear life for the first time in forever. Hoshi didn't hesitate to climb up there, as that was where her Auntie was and she wanted to go where she was, however, she seemed to recognize Ryuuko.

  She called Sats "Auntie" but, when she saw Ryuuko, she said, "Mama". Ryuuko was asleep before that but the moment she heard her voice, she woke up and turned to where that voice coming from, asking, _"Esther?"_  We were surprised, as we didn't know Hoshi even had a name, then again, she probably didn't have a chance to put "Esther" down as her name.

 

        As only she was able to, she held her close, something she hadn't the chance to do.

 

She held her until she could no longer keep herself awake and when the nurses kicked all of us out (damn!). 

 

I hated seeing Hoshi cry.


	13. Satsuki's Sunshine

The day after that, not much happened. She was awake before I was, humming _"You Are My Sunshine",_ while rocking me in her arms. In that moment, we were kids again and she was there, doing what she did when Mom passed away. _"You Are My Sunshine” was_ a song Mom would sing to us, especially when things went bad. Sats humming that and rocking me reminded me that Mom wasn't there anymore.

I knew, from what she said, that she knew something about my baby but I didn't know that the hospital let her have my baby and that she took care of her.  I wonder what they talked about but I knew that she told her about me. I wonder if she told her I was a hoe, then again, I'd have to tell her, Esther, about that when she's older. Maybe I wouldn't but she deserves to know why I hadn't been there, in all that time. She's still little and I doubt it's wholly too late but I feel awful that I couldn't be, then. They didn't want me to have her and they know I've been screwing. Esther, heh, she's really pretty but her mother, me, is a whore. Her aunt ain't but her mother is and people know that.

I found myself crying again, to which Sats stopped humming and rocking, holding me close and petting my hair. She told me that she's told Esther about me and that I loved her, along with how that I'd love to see her. She told me the stories started when she Esther saw a picture of me and pointed, saying, “I told her that you were her mother and that was when I started telling her stories. She saw a picture of you and she seems to have some self-awareness."

She told me of how she just wanted to know if I was okay and that she wanted so much to see me, wondering if she'd ever would. "I could never forgive myself if something happened to you. Seeing you in that much pain hurt, hurt worse than anything I've ever felt, and I wondered if my efforts to save you would have been successful."  she said, holding me tighter. I didn't see her face but I could feel her tears, her raspy breaths, and her fluttering heartbeat as she cried.

 She was holding onto me tighter at that point. From what I could feel, she was scared, scared of letting go, scared that, if she let me go, I'd be gone and then she'd never have me again.


	14. Regardless

We made it to Satsuki's place and Hoshi was still crying. She cried for a while before she decided to come at Nonon, attempting to beat her ass. She couldn't but what she was doing seemed to be making her feel a little better about the overall situation. Obviously, she was a mini-Ryuuko and, true to that, she was looking to beat someone's ass. Nonon was an easy target and she didn't even try to fight her back, not that she could, as Satsuki.

   It was near hilarious when the baby decided to thwack her square in the head with a broom, saying her own version of, "Dirty bitch!" Iori rolled his eyes, pointing out that no one would like their mother to be called a whore, Hoshi being no different. Of course, that was a coup de grace for her and she left Nonon alone before climbing into my lap, asking about Satsuki and Ryuuko, demanding that they come home and such.

She didn't understand what was going on and why the two weren't home. I told her that they were sick (which isn't a lie, technically) and that we'd see them when they were better. Still, she didn't get it and that was a given, considering how much she cried when Sats was in the hospital. We didn't know how she'd be without her, especially since we didn't where Ryuuko was, let alone the fact that we haven't heard from or had seen her in a while. I told her I’d take care of her if worse would come to worse but, damn, I can't substitute for her or Ryuuko. For all I knew, social services probably would have handed her off to an orphanage and she'd be given away, otherwise.

Sats was alone without Ryuuko. Had Sats had died and we hadn't found out where Ryuuko was, Hoshi would have been alone and Sats would have hated the idea, after all, that was why she had the hospital give her to her in the first place. Otherwise, they would have turned her in to an orphanage and, from what I could see, Sats couldn't stand that. They were both alone and minus a loved one, Hoshi especially because, the hospital officials wouldn't let Ryuuko have her. She was a baby and, already, her mother wasn't in her life.

  Sats told me that she asked the hospital if she could see her and then she signed the papers to have her released. _"She's just a baby,"_ I remember her saying, _"she needs care, love, and for someone to be there. I couldn't just leave her there without any of those things."_ Remembering that and how alone Sats was when Ryuuko was, I remembered as to how much she sacrificed just to even provide something for Ryuuko. Always, she put everyone else before herself, especially when it came to Ryuuko.

  I remembered about how they almost always fought, even if it was over some real basic bullshit. I won't lie, Ryuuko would sometimes egg it throwing stuff in her direction or calling her names, whatever the hell. I remembered how, sometimes, Sats took the hit, didn't bother to even hit her back but, damn, did she get chewed out for that. I once asked her if she was okay and she told she was, even though we both knew she wasn't. She was always tired, often in pain, paid the bills, worked nights, had many things to complain about, and, in the end scheme, regardless if it seemed like Ryuuko-chan didn't the same, she said she just liked the fact that she had someone to come home to. No matter how much Ryuuko was mean to her or acted the way that she did, she still worked and sacrificed, being happy that she just had her there. 

  Ryuuko running away really hurt her and, while she didn't show it much, it was obvious but, still, she wanted to make it right, so, she took in Hoshi, making sure that neither one of them had to be alone, at least, then, she could make it right.


	15. My Babies

She stopped crying and I thought she had another attack but, no, she didn't, actually, she was breathing fine, and, for once, she sounded relieved when she breathed. She held onto me tighter, running her fingers through my hair, rocking me in her arms, like she did when we were kids. She went back to singing _"You Are My Sunshine"_. Besides that, it was quiet, calm, as if we never fought at all and that all was right.

  Within, I still expected her for her to be mad but she wasn’t, actually, she was just there. I guess some part of me couldn't believe that she'd even be there. I had been so mean to her and I had almost damn near killed her, yet, she was there, singing to, holding, and rocking me. It would take a great force of some kind to pull her away and, even then, she'd still stay.

As I thought about it, I realized I must have been an ungrateful bitch. She bent over backwards and, yet, I had the nerve, one time, to smack her square in the head with a shoe because of whatever some bullshit. While she sang, I just thought of all the crap I had put her through. I suppose she didn’t give a damn about any of that, just that I was there and that was all she could want, yet I had taken her for granted.

  She was there, still, clinging to me, afraid of me leaving her, afraid of never seeing me again. She was at that singing and rocking business for a while before she stopped and went to just keep holding me. I guess we'd have to talk, a lot to catch up on and such, a lot to do. I needed help for a lot of things and it took 'til now for me to figure that out.

It was like an hour before I told her I wanted to talk. I told her that I felt awful but more that I felt dirty because of what I did to get by, that I was a whore and always will be. I felt her holding onto me tighter before she said, "Not to me. I don't care about what anyone else says or what they know, you're not a whore, not to me, and I'd be damned if I let anyone, yourself included, tell me any different."

She then told me about how she'll take care of us and that she'd do anything in her power to keep us afloat, to make everything okay. She told me that, when I get out of here, we'll go home and that we'd have all the time in the world to talk, whatever I could ask. From what she said, I would guess she'd carry me home if she has to. She may as well had been begging and, honestly, God knows if she really was (Sats has an annoying habit of "saying things under things").

I suppose I wanted to tell her that I’d be fine but she’d know I was lying. Some part of me didn't want to admit I had fucked up bad but a good much of me did, especially since I had almost killed her and, yet, she still came back, never going anywhere. I hurt her and I am damn sorry for doing that but I wonder if staying with her would kill her.

    If my staying with her was gonna kill her, then, well, Sats didn’t give a damn. I hurt her enough but, instead of being mean to me when I called or flat out leaving the moment we got here, she was there, just there, and she wasn't real keen on leaving. She loved me more than anything and I was damned that I had treated her so bad.

After that, I ran out of things to say and just closed my eyes. Not too long after I did that, I could hear her voice saying, "Oh, they're here." and feel her shaking me.

    When I opened my eyes, there they were, my babies. Two girls, looking much like Esther, except they don’t have the same father. I wondered as to what I should call them, double, because Sats didn’t name them while I was knocked out. I didn't know what to call them but I suppose I could call them after two favorite things I could think of.

 

        Few things my hazy memory could recall.


	16. Hotaru and Nikko

She named them "Hotaru" and "Nikko."

 "Hotaru" for the fireflies she'd attempt to catch, just so she could show our sick mother in the hospital to cheer her up, and "Nikko" for the song _"You Are My Sunshine"._ Our mother, like our father, was a figure we had very much missed, except Ryuuko could remember our mother clearly, as she was only two when our father passed away. Of course, having lost them, I couldn't stand the thought of losing her (and her then unborn babies), too.

Her happiness upon seeing them was immediate and I shared that happiness even more so. I suppose most of what Ryuuko really wanted was for someone to love her and to have that love reaffirmed. Likewise, I didn’t want to be left alone and I just wanted someone to love and come home to.

I am determined to make things right and anew. I’ll look after her, her babies, all of us, and make sure that we’ll be alright. I can’t let her leave and be alone again, as, as far as I knew, if I let her go, then I'd never see her again and, if I were to see her again, odds are, it'd be in a hospital room, as she's in the final throes of her life. The thought of never seeing again, as I could feel, had still stung. I promised my parents that I’d take care of her and, I had lost her, unborn babies and all, I would have failed her and my parents. I doubt I’d be able to live with that.

  I’ll do this right. I’ll bring them, Ryuuko and her babies, home, and take good care of them, make them feel safe, comfortable, and we'll be content.  It'll be hard but I'll manage and Hoshi would love to meet her sisters.

 


	17. Afterwards

About a week or so, Ryuuko with her babies had got out of the hospital. It was just quiet and Sats said little, just that Ryuuko needed her rest, along with having a lot to think about. I asked if Ryuuko was gonna stay, to which she said that she couldn't say but she did say that there's a very good chance she might, considering that she hadn't tried to bail and neither did she protest when Satsuki opted to bring her home.

  I asked about how she and her babies were doing. I was told her babies were fine but Ryuuko was very tired. She told me that she was worried but the doctors deemed her well enough to go home with her, however, they did say to come back if some things turn out wrong. “So far, it seems, she spends most of her time in bed and, frankly, I doubt she’ll be going back to her apartment soon, after all, it doesn’t have a door.” she said, once, cradling one the twins.

 She then said that Hoshi doesn’t mind her being there, of course, actually, whatever time she isn’t spending with her, she spends with Ryuuko, the mother to whom she was minus the moment she had just come into the world. Besides being drowsy, Ryuuko seemed to be interested in her babies but couldn't really seem to muster the strength to pull herself out of bed.

  Sometime, after I last spoke with her, I dropped everything when I found out that Ryuuko was back in the hospital after Satsuki found her laying on the bathroom floor. According to what information I did get, she contracted an infection in her uterus and that the infection was starting to spread. She's had a surgery, blood transfusions, was put on several antibiotics, and was once again in critical. Satsuki was distraught but held out hope that Ryuuko'll pull through.


	18. Sunshine, a Talk, and Dreams

  **Music Playing:** _[Sister](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUm1qWIZais)  _ by Martin Stig Andersen (Ryuuko's dream sequence)

* * *

  I was scared and tired, mostly scared. I wanted to see Mom, too, but I don't think she wanted to see me just yet, as Mom's patient. I had babies to take care of and I can't do that if I die, after all, what will happen to them if I go? I was put on God knows how many antibiotics, attached to a machine, and feeling the scar from the surgery to hurt like all living hell.

While I lied there in bed, I wondered if this is what I got for being mean to and almost killing Sats and whoring around. I didn't bother asking this to Sats because she might tell me otherwise but I could tell she was begging me to make it. I could tell that she didn't really know what to do but just simply decided to cling to me. Last time, she made it better but I don’t think she could do that this time.

 I remembered that she took care of my very first baby. If I die, then, at least, I could go knowing that Sats would take care of them. As I thought about this, I remembered that, since she brought me home, I haven't really spoke much to her. Something in me told me to, asking her if she was mad at me.

"No," she said, "I'm not mad at you. I never had been."

"I'm so sorry, Sats."

"I forgave you a long time ago. I just wanted what's best for you and to make things right. "

"Did you miss me?"

"Yes."

"Mmm."

"I don’t wanna die, Sis.”

 She just held onto me tighter and told me that I won’t die, that I’ll get well, get some rest, and that we’d go home. I didn’t know if I would be going home with her but I do know that I didn’t want her to leave, just that I wanted her stay. It wasn’t “want” anymore and it just became “need”. I needed her to stay, to not go away. For the longest, before I left, I couldn’t stand her being around but, now, I can’t picture her gone.

  After a little while, I asked Sats to take me outside and she told me she wasn't sure as to how she could do that but said she'd try. With the tubes and crap connected to me, she gathered me in her arms and carried me outside, cradling me like a baby. The doctors would get mad, most likely, but I guess all would be forgiven, after all, I didn't think to have Sats open the curtains.

   It was sunny outside and, while I didn't know why I wanted to go outside, I started to feel better afterwards. Mom always said how sunshine could be medicine and, honest to God, I wish the sunshine helped her, then she could still be here.  She brought me back inside and, for some reason, I felt like talking again.

Basically, I decided to tell her of my "fall from grace". I told her that I was scared and I didn't really know what else to do, so I took to stripping, which, later on, took me to hooking. Of course, before I officially turned hooker, I told her about how I met a guy while stripping and that he told me he loved me, that I was pretty, and offered to take me to a love hotel. "I woke up alone, Sats, alone with money on the nightstand." I said, before I told her it was a lot of money, so I started going on "dates" along with stripping. I had to make sure I made myself extra pretty, I would tell her.

"Extra pretty?"

"Like the ladies in magazines, all painted up and shit, stuff like that. I'd find a magazine, put on a pretty red dress and do my makeup, put on perfume, the works, Sis."

"I see."

"I got famous, really, but, I'm not gonna lie, I hated it. I felt dirty each time I did it, hell, I even slept with a married man and danced with his wife while wearing those frilly pink panties. It got me a place to stay, to say the least."

"Mmm-hmm."

"She, Esther, just came out of me. I didn't know I was gonna have her but I did, in a ladies' room."

"Tell me more about that, please."

"I wanted to hold her, talk to her, to see her but they wouldn't let me. Of course, I was messed up bad but they wouldn't let me see her anyway or even tell me about her, just that she was sick and that I couldn't see her at the time. They didn't like me much and, so, they didn't let me get her without telling me why. I'd never thought I'd see her again and I didn't know she was with you."

"....."

"As far as I knew, you wouldn't want me back and, honestly, I didn't think you were even going to answer the phone."

" I've lost track of how long I waited for you to call, just the fact that I wanted you to, and holding out hope that you would, hoping to know if you were alright and just I wanted to make amends. I really missed you and, being without you, well, I can’t remember when I ever felt so alone.”

We didn’t talk much more after that, with Sats telling me to rest more and that we'd talk more later.

I drifted to sleep with Sats petting my hair and started to hear a familiar voice.

* * *

_It wasn't Satsuki's voice, no, but it was familiar. I still felt my hair being petted and then I looked up._

Mom was there, petting my hair, singing _" **You Are My Sunshine".**_ Honestly, I haven't had a dream like that since I was a kid but here I was, dreaming of Mom singing to me and holding me like those years ago. I told her how much I missed her and wished she was there or, rather, she could stay.

_"As much as I wish to stay with you, I can't and I regret ever leaving you behind, but your father and I never left you in the world alone."_

 I don't know how long that dream lasted but I do remember Mom telling me to wake up, citing how I was loved and that someone needed me.

_"My sweet, listen, you must wake up, please, wake up. I'll see you again someday but, now, it's not time. You are loved, my sweet, forever and always, and you have people out there who can't live without.”_

* * *

   I woke up with Sats still there. According to her, I had slept through the night and that the doctors said it was a miracle that my fever broke, along with that I started to heal up okay. She also told me that Mako brought my old blanket to keep me warm. "It's little more than a throw but she said you'd like it." Sats said, tucking it around me tighter. It had been awhile since I had even seen that blanket but, while I don't remember to much, I remember Mom had made it for me. I was pulled from the fire wrapped in this blanket when I was two and that fire was when Dad died.


	19. Mako's Musings

I watched after the babies while Ryuuko and Satsuki were in the hospital. I heard bits and pieces but, mostly, what I got from Satsuki is that Ryuuko will be okay and that the doctors did everything possible to make sure of that. From what I already know, the infection Ryuuko had was so serious that, besides antibiotics and blood transfusions, part of her uterus had to be removed, thus she's infertile.

 Her babies just don't know but Hoshi hadn't slept a full night since, actually, she's spent a good much of the time crying for her mother and aunt and demanding to know where they were and when they'll return. I couldn't say that, of course, but I did tell her that her mother is sick and that her aunt was taking care of her, along with that they'll come home when Ryuuko was well enough to come home. However, Hoshi wasn't having that and was gonna raise some hell over it.

  Her little sisters, Hotaru and Nikko, it seems, didn't really notice, of course, they were only but newborns. Remembering that Hoshi was without Ryuuko since birth, I hated the idea of Ryuuko's twins being made to live without her because of a septic infection. As I thought about Hoshi and the twins, I wondered as to how Satsuki would cope with living without her sister. I suppose the loss, ultimately, would cause her health to fail and she’d die soon after, leaving all three of them alone. I don’t think either of them would have wanted that.

 

        I could only hope life wouldn't be so cruel and take them both away.


	20. Together

She slept soundly, last night. I didn't think she'd sleep that deeply, double, as the doctors had to poke and prod her to make sure she was functioning okay, along with that her scars seemed to be healing well. They dialed back some of medicines, leaving only antibiotics and pain killers, along with one blood bag.

If I could switch places with her, I would and I would suffer in her place. Of course, I can't but, regardless, I am relieved that she'll recover. Her babies will be so delighted to have their mother home with them again and for all to be truly well. We still have a long way to go but this is a start. She woke up and asked, "Do you think Mom would be mad at me or that she already knows?"

 I told her that our mother was watching over us from up there and that she had known but I doubted she was upset at her promiscuity or our fight. We talked a little bit before she said, "I wanna go home, Sats." I told her that she'd be allowed to within the coming weeks but, until then, she could have visitors and that I'd arrange for her babies to visit with her.

  The next day, Mako brought them to see her. Hoshi looked as though the hadn't slept in years but, immediately, the moment she had seen her mother and I, she didn’t hesitate to snuggle close, curling up, as well as she could, next to her, with Ryuuko taking the babies into her arms. Honestly, I can’t remember when I had seen her happier. The twins seemed happy to have her there, too.

Seeing her with her babies and with us all there, I had more reason to believe that things would be alright.

 

We were both alone and, here we are, together.


End file.
